Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Snow Follows Me

I promised some pictures of our snow storm here in Dallas, and here they are.  Enjoy?   
  I was recently reading a book where the main character was having the internal crisis of should I quit; or should I forge ahead?  I can't count how often I ask myself this question, and how many different circumstances the question arises.  Weather it be in my job, in my relationships, eating habits, going to the gym.... the list goes on. 
"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit."  It's difficult for me to admit, but I'm kind of a quitter.  I tend to start and join many things and don't end up following through.  Hey, first step is admitting, right?  I've pondered why, and what I come up with is that I get scared. Maybe I won't succeed, or the new people I meet won't like me, or it'll be a waste of time.  It's not easy to break these habits, although as I continue to pursue blogging, I think I'm showing some progress.
The thing that makes me a little mad at myself is that I've met so many great people, and had very fun times doing things I initially wanted to quit.  For whatever reason I kept going, and was a better person because of it.  It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're having that internal struggle with yourself. 
As I was growing up my Dad "kindly forced" me to join and do many things.  At the time I was completely against it, but many of them helped me develop as a person.  For example, I had to ride my bike up this HUGE hill everyday (or every other, don't remember) in the summer.  He wanted me to get in shape for basketball season.  I hated it, every minute of it.  I would sometimes skip it and go to my friends house for an hour and jump on her trampoline and talk about how much I loathed that hill.  For the most part though, I did what he told me to do, and I tell ya, I was the only girl who didn't puke the first week of basketball practice in the fall.  Another time he signed me up for a month long language camp in the summer, I didn't want to go.  I think I begged and cried to my Mom the whole car ride there, but I ended up meeting some great people!  It made me more outgoing, and lead me to think that studying abroad would be something I would enjoy (which I did!)  Don't smile too big while reading this Dad!
I believe part of being a grown up is learning that you aren't always going to be completely satisfied with everything going on in your life.  My friend Gi and I seem to always be telling each other "it's always something."  It's true, unfortunately.  I have learned that quitting doesn't solve most things, sometimes you have to wait out the storm, with hope and effort that things will change and improve. 
I hope that as I get older I get better at accepting that even though you might be going through some sh*t.. that's exactly what you have to do, keep going through it.  Something will change, it always does.  Sometimes you might not learn anything, but I think most times you will, and will be surprised and what you find out about yourself.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out"  Decca Recording rejecting the Beatles in 1962.

Keep on keepin' on :)

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